Thursday’s Trifles

Thursday’s Trifles are based on what I’ve read in our local newspaper Dagblad van het Noorden.

No sliding pole for firemen due to Dutch Working Conditions Act

The new fire station in Leeuwarden will not be equipped with a sliding pole. Apparently lots of accidents happen when firemen slide down the pole and aren’t away quick enough (before the next one slides down) or they hit the ground too hard on landing. The DvhN saw an opportunity to interview a fireman about this groundbreaking news story.

“Are you no longer allowed a fireman’s pole because of the reputation pole dancing has?”
”Ah! You’ve given me an idea for the opening act of our new fire station!”
……….
”So, you are not allowed a sliding pole because of the Working Conditions Act, but you have to enter buildings that are on fire?”
”We do have a slightly heroic profession, but we should not go looking for risks to take.”
……….
”It sort of resembles fierljeppen.” (Fierljeppen, or far-leaping, is a Dutch/Friesian sport. Competitors sprint to a pole of about 10 meters long, grab it, climb to the top of the pole while that starts to fall down over a body of water and (hopefully) land on the other side of the water on a bed of sand.)
”With fierljeppen people often land in the water. Perhaps that is what we should do too.”
……….
”Is there a sliding pole in the other fire station in Leeuwarden?”
”That station belongs to the volunteer fire department. They arrive straight from home and don’t go running upstairs first just to uphold a tradition.”

I love the surreal idea of fire fighters running into the station and up the stairs, so they can slide down the pole to get to the fire engines.

 

Be careful what you wish for

A 50 year old man has been lying dead in his room for four years, while his two brothers and two sisters lived in the same house in a village in the Netherlands.

His brothers (61 and 67) and sisters (44 and 71) said that the last time they had seen their brother was in the Spring of 2006. He didn’t feel well and went to his bedroom, telling the others not to disturb him. They respected what turned out to be his last wish and left him in peace.

The house needed some work and the landlord notified them they could expect some building inspectors. One of the brothers decided therefore to go to his brother’s bedroom, although he had promised to leave him alone four years ago, to tell him he could expect visitors and found his brother lying on the bed. He probably died in the Spring of 2006, not long after he went up to his room.

The police say that the brothers and sisters of the man just hadn’t thought of the possibility that their brother had died. The body was completely dehydrated and his room had been closed for four years.

They did not have any contact with their neighbours, so nobody noticed someone was missing.

Oh, I do hope these people are the last in their gene pool.

 

Men just háve to look at beautiful women

They can’t help themselves. Researchers of the VU (University) in Amsterdam have concluded that men just can’t help looking at attractive women, because they are ‘programmed’ by evolution. Attractive women often are young and healthy and can therefore produce a lot of offspring.

Women however, are far more interested in ambitious and important men. Women don’t care as much about how a man looks, whether they are bald or red haired, whether the only six-pack they have is the one in the fridge. As long as these men are filthy rich can provide for their children, the sexy women are quite happy.

Now, where is the news in that? We all knew this didn’t we? No expensive research needed. Duh!

in fact, about 20 years ago i was waiting for the elevator in the office block I worked in, when a couple of my male colleagues joined me. one of them was new to the company. he introduced himself, looked at me and said: “you look like you can produce some great children.”
now, had he been a red haired or bald guy with a six-pack in the fridge I'd have immediately taken him up on his offer. unfortunately for him he had an ungroomed black beard and i had the feeling he would not have a great career.