Here piggy piggy

The couple who owned the stables where my horse lived before we had our own stables ready, had a couple of pigs. These pigs, Nufnuf and Tumtum, lived in a small wooden shelter with a muddy patch in front of it. Occasionally I gave the pigs a little treat, a piece of carrot or apple or whatever else I’d brought with me to spoil my horse, which they always accepted with a soft oink oink noise that clearly expressed their gratefulness. I liked the pigs. Everybody else there, except the owners, ignored them.

Then the couple who owned the stables sold the livery and were not able to take the pigs with them to their new home. Not enough space and too many people around who probably wouldn’t like the distinctive odour pig poo brings to the air. The new owners of the stables didn’t want the pigs. Nobody wanted the pigs.

Tumtum 

So I said to hubs: “we’re getting two pigs.” Hubs said: “what?” and “why?” and “where?” and I said: “they are called Nufnuf and Tumtum” and “because they don’t have anywhere else to go and I don’t want them to end up on someone’s barbecue” and “I thought the big shed at the back of the garden, where we always said we could keep a couple of goats, but the goats turn out to be pigs.”
Hubs sighed.
I said: “have you never even seen the pigs at the stables? (Hubs occasionally went with me to the stables, he didn’t ride, let alone own a horse then.) Next time you come with me, you should take a moment to meet them. They are really cute!”
Hubs mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “I don’t even want pigs. What’s the fun of having pigs”, but I ignored that.
The next time he went with me to the stables I grabbed him by the elbow and introduced him to Nufnuf and Tumtum. They oinked at hubs and his heart melted and when we got home he started to make the shed pig-ready and the piece of garden I had thought we could build a fence around so they had their own patch of mud, became about twice as big, because: “those pigs need a bigger space!”

Nufnuf

Then Operation Move-That-Pig started. The stable-owner constructed a big crate that should be sturdy enough to hold Tumtum, the biggest of the two. We then had to convince Tumtum to go into that crate, which wasn’t easy at all. Tumtum thought: “what?” and "why?” and “whereto?” and however much we assured him that he was going to a better place, he didn’t believe us at all. “Better place!”, he oinked. “HA! That’s what they told Mummy and Daddy and Auntie Bess too and I never saw them again, but I thought I recognized Auntie Bess’s fat little legs on the BBQ that evening!” 

So it took five people a whole afternoon to get Tumtum (not the smallest pig in the world) to go into the crate. Then the crate had to be lifted onto our trailer. Take into account that Tumtum weighed about what… 100-150 kilograms? at that time (he has grown bigger since), and the crate was really heavy too, and you can imagine the red faces and the huffing and puffing and groaning and moaning that operation was soundtracked by.

We drove the crate with Tumtum in it to our home, followed by a car with the strongest men we could find, hooked the trailer up to our little tractor and drove him to the back of our garden, where the strong men lifted the crate off the trailer and released Tumtum into his new abode.  I stayed with him to try and calm him down while hubs and the other strong men returned to the stables to get Nufnuf.

It took a long time before the big-guys-club returned with Nufnuf in the crate, because the whole Tumtum-chase and then being left alone had stressed him out completely and he had spent the whole time planning his escape, so as soon as the guys opened the gate to the pig shelter, Nufnuf (who is a smaller pig) slipped through and ran away.
It must have been a fun sight, a potbellied pig at top speed chased by 5 big guys at their top speed, but finally they managed to corner him. They then persuaded him to go into the crate. And while they closed one end of the crate, Nufnuf broke through the other end, 5 out of breath big guys who started to dislike pigs more and more again in close pursuit. Meanwhile the stable-owner repaired the crate using a hideous amount of nails and screws and extra wood, so when the guys had finally cornered Nufnuf again and managed to move him into the crate, the chance of him escaping again had been brought to a minimum.

Fortunately when they returned home with Nufnuf and released him to join Tumtum it didn’t take them long to decide that this new place wasn’t bad at all.

And that, Mr Rhymeswithplague, is how we came about them pigs ;-)