What Christmas is all about

One of the funniest series I know is the BBC's Gavin and Stacey. This is a clip from their Christmas Special, in which Gwen, Bryn and elderly neighbour Doris explain to you what Christmas is all about (Doris also mentions Scott, who is her toy boy lover).

Makes me laugh every time.

Seriously!

Since I found out that I'm a Doris (you can read about that here if you want to) life has become so much easier. Well, not really. That would be silly, if only. If only it would be so simple. But it would have been much easier if my 'followers' and fellow bloggers had payed more attention to the 'Doris-rules'. Let me remind you that what makes being a Doris fun is: * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends (true) * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better (gosh, I wish that was true) * being generous, caring, and warm (obviously true) * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings (far too true) * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor (very true, hahaha) But I would like to focus on the points that make being a Doris difficult. Well, I would not LIKE to focus on that. It's just.....that's what I do and what makes me me. Apparently. * not being able to say no (I've learned to say no over the years, fortunately, although I don't say it often enough, but I'm working on that) * having low self-esteem (that is SO true, very important thing to know about me!) * feeling drained from overdoing for others (sometimes, but since I learned to say no I don't do so much for others anymore, which makes me feel guilty) * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish (true, and if I do, I feel guilty'. Oh, and about 'the fear of being selfish': if I use the word 'I' more than, let's say....three times in one post or in a comment to someone else's post, I feel guilty. Clearly I feel guilty all the time! For I use the word I far too often. As if the world revolves around me. I know it doesn't. But I can't stop using 'I'. And that makes me (another word that makes me feel guilty) feel....uhm, how can I say this without hurting anyone's feelings...uhm, crap! Sorry.) * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should (always criticizing myself for everything really) * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them (well, I can't help that, that's YOUR fault) * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings (I'm working on that, see the previous point, and I'm really sorry that I said it was YOUR fault) This being all clear to you now, I hope, I have to explain to you why I'm writing this post (feeling very guilty about all the I's! So sorry!). I've noticed that my 'followers'-list is fluctuating. A 'follower' means acknowledgement. And to me acknowledgement is VERY IMPORTANT! And if a 'follower' stops following I feel that I have let him or her down in some way. Why else would they leave me? Have I upset him/her? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? Have I not paid enough attention to his/her needs? Why oh why did they stop following my blog? And then if someone joins the list I'm ever so happy again! Is it just me? Do you feel the same? Or do you never lose a 'follower'? (Gawd, (see? I don't even use the word God because I don't want to upset people) if that is true that would make me feel even worse.) How do you cope with rejection? (if ever you are) (Sorry about all the 'I's' and 'me's'. Please don't leave me!)

I'm happy! I'm a Doris!

(Looking for the ABC Wednesday entry? Please scroll down. It's the next post.)

Did this test (only two questions, figured I could manage that much) and oh imagine my surprise when the result appeared! I'm a Doris. I'm happy. Who wouldn't be? (You can always do the test and see what you are.) The Doris-description fits me like a glove. Have to let hubs read it. He doesn't know me well enough, or just forgets sometimes.

You are a Doris -- "I must help others."

Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
• * Share fun times with me.
• * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
• * Let me know that I am important and special to you.
• * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
• * Reassure me often that you love me.
• * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Doris

• * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
• * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
• * being generous, caring, and warm
• * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
• * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Doris

• * not being able to say no
• * having low self-esteem
• * feeling drained from overdoing for others
• * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
• * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
• * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
• * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Dorises as Children Often

• * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
• * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
• * are outwardly compliant
• * are popular or try to be popular with other children
• * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
• * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)

Dorises as Parents

• * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
• * are often playful with their children
• * wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
• * can become fiercely protective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy