Thursdays Trifles: Reading Handbags

“ What?” I hear you say. “Reading handbags?”

Yes. Apparently handbag-reader Yoeke Nagel organizes a course in ‘how to read a ladies handbag’. Who knew. And who wants to know?

One of the fun loving journalists of the ‘Dagblad van het Noorden’ was interested. Part of the interview he had with her, I have translated for you:

“But a man isn’t allowed to look into a woman’s handbag, is he?”
”Only with permission.”
”What’s in a woman’s handbag?”
”More than she knows. On average 34 objects. Of which she uses about eight. Six lipsticks, an agenda of two years ago. A key, but what of?”
”Why?”
”If she happens to meet a mass murderer, she wants to be able to give him a chainsaw. Prepared for every situation. Everything she subconsciously is scared of, or desires, she connects to objects.”
”Scared of what?”
”Three pairs of handkerchiefs in case she has to cry. Red lipstick in case she has to make a public speech and that she never uses.”
”…..”
”Why the handbag addiction?”
”Every handbag stands for a different aspect of that woman. A bag is also a lifebuoy that she can cling to if she’s out on her own.”
”An insecure woman has a large handbag?”
”She can also carry things for kid, colleague or partner.”
”….”
”Is a handbag part of the woman?”
”It is an additional part of her DNA. There are Paradise Women who don’t carry a lot in their bags, because nothing is perfect. They read glossy interior magazines and want a new interior every month. And there are Cuckoo Women who put their things in their friend’s bag.”
”The woman without a handbag?”
”She must exist. Somewhere.”

 

Now. I’ve checked my handbag. I found two small packets of tissues, my purse and car keys. And when I go out, I’ll put my mobile phone and my iPod in it. That’s it. No chainsaw, lipstick or other kinds of makeup. I put my face on at home and that’s it. No touching up will be done during the day/evening. And I do read glossy interior magazines, but I don’t need a new interior every month. What does that say about me? I’m confused.

What do you carry in your handbag?