Went shopping with a friend who has two cute little daughters, one of whom had a birthday coming up. Her third one actually. And friend still had to buy the birthday presents so we went into a large toy shop. Overwhelmed by the huge amount of plastic rubbish toys, we didn’t have a clue where to look first.
“What does she want for her birthday?”, I asked the obvious question.
”She wants the complete contents of the toy catalogue”, friend sighed. “But she definitely wants a Dora-doll.”
”A Dora-doll.”
”Yep. A Dora-doll. Some kind of cartoon figure. Dora the Explorer. She loves Dora.”
”So, we have to find the doll section I guess.”
We looked around and saw a pink glow coming from the back of the shop. That seemed to be little girlie heaven. So we headed for the pink glowing corner. On our way down there we passed all sorts of baskets filled with cheap shit toys and I just couldn’t walk past one of those baskets without picking up one of the items it was filled with and squeezing it. “PFFRRRT”, it did and immediately made me giggle. Friend, who wasn’t distracted by all the tempting junk we were surrounded with, because she had a goal – a Dora-doll for birthday girl – was already halfway down the store, so I ran after her and squeezed the thing again. “PFFRRRT”, it did and I couldn’t help giggling again. Friend looked around to see what made the sound. “Ah! A whoopee cushion. Other daughter would love that.” (Other daughter is four-and-a-very-important-half and apparently she and I share a great sense of humour. No, we don’t share a mental age, should the thought have crossed your mind. I’m definitely older than that. Mentally not very much older, I’ll give you that, but still…)
“Okay. So I’m buying a whoopee cushion for your other daughter then.”
We finally found a Dora-doll that we could both resist puking all over and a cute plush doggie that did “woofwoof” and a salto got assigned to be grandparents’ present and we saw a pink car with a doll in it, towing a pink trailer with a small dog on a cart and a slide on it. All smallish doll size of course. We thought that the whole thing promised hours of fun, so it was added to the birthday presents. I bought a game (with Dora in the leading role) and a cheap bubble blowing device for birthday girl and for her sister very real looking (with a bit of imagination) diamond and ruby stickers to do something creative with and of course the whoopee-cushion. (I gave the presents to friend so she could give them to both her girls, since hubs and I wouldn’t be there on the important day, or in the very near future, to give the presents ourselves.)
We had made a bit of a planning mistake, because we still had to shop for clothes and were now carrying a huge bag filled with birthday presents around that we kept referring to as ‘half the toy store’. “Don’t forget half the toy store”, when leaving a trendy boutique where she had bought a great cardigan and I had bought a nice pair of jeans. More bags to carry around. In another store she bought a dress. So we then had to carry half the toy store, a great cardigan, nice pair of jeans and a dress. Does it remind you of a certain game too? I found the perfect winter coat and a great belt. What did we have to carry around? Half the toy store, a great cardigan, nice pair of jeans, a dress,…. You get the point. We also bought some clothes for her kids. And then she needed to buy shoes for the kids. But we couldn’t be bothered anymore and dragged ourselves, half the toy store, a great cardigan… etc. back to the car.
A couple of days later she had the party for birthday girl and her little friends. That afternoon my mobile rang. It was friend. “Do you want to hear the sound of a whoopee cushion and five little girls? Hold on.”
“PFFRRRT!”
”Weeheeheeheeheee hahahahaha hoohooohooohaha”, little girls hysterically laughed on the other end of the phone. “Weehehehehe have a whoopee-cushion”, the oldest daughter on the other side of the phone cried with laughter. “PFFRRRT!” the cushion farted in the background again. I had to hold the phone half a metre from my ear to cope with the sound of five girls laughing their little heads off. Friend took over the phone at her end again. “Well. Forget all the other presents we dragged around with us. Your whoopee-cushion is a huge success. As you heard hehehe.”
So… should you need to buy a tasteful and sensible birthday present for a small boy or girl, forget the tasteful and sensible and go for the whoopee-cushion. Success guaranteed. And ‘it doesn’t cost a turd’ as we say in the Netherlands.
This is why I do most of my shopping online these days!
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to get carried away in the toy shops and find yourself buying stuff you wouldn't normally give a second glance but then, good taste leaves the room once children come into it;-)
Jabblog:
ReplyDeleteApparently you're right (as always) ;-)
Hahaha funny as a fart!
ReplyDeleteBaino: language Baino! Language! ;-)
ReplyDeleteGreat advice when buying for kids. For my 3 yr. old grandson's birthday he got lots of toys. Guess what his favorite was...yes, a kid's book on farts I had bought at the last minute. Always the perfect gift when you can't think of anything else.
ReplyDeleteLOL... those things never go out of style or popularity.
ReplyDeleteGrey horse matters: LOL
ReplyDeleteKaren: to be honest; friend and I had a lot of giggles about the fart cushion too. So you're right ;-)
There is absolutely nothing in this world funnier to a child than a fart. I learned that when I was a child, of course, but the lesson has been reinforced via every niece and nephew that has come my way. If a child is sad or pouting or angry, make some farting noises. Instant happy child!
ReplyDeleteYep, I was thinking of getting one for my niece or nephew, probably both. I must admit, they are quite good fun.
ReplyDeleteMara: you'll be their favourite aunt forever ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh...I can only imagine the treasures the two of us could find if we would go shopping together...
ReplyDeletexo
LOL, that is funny. I also agree with Suldog, there is nothing funnier to a child then a fart.
ReplyDeleteMel: shopping centres will never be the same after our visit... Perhaps it is for the best that there's an ocean between us ;-)
ReplyDeleteTMarie: Agreed. Although I have to admit that friend and I had a good giggle about the farting cushion too ;-)
Anyone who doesn't think farts are funny has much to learn about humor. Someone gave me a battery operated key chain that make five different fart sounds. Others are always asking to borrow it.
ReplyDeleteI've just caught up with your posts. Sorry about the voice and sorry about the bad boy on the moped. Hope he got done good and proper.
ReplyDeleteA farting cushion is always a good buy, you should have one yourself and then place it on a chair when somebody you don't like comes to your house; invite them to sit down and keep a straight face, perhaps you could try to look a little disapproving.
Whoopie cushions are the best! And I'm so glad some of us never grow up.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Yes, indeed, the good old Whoopie cushion is still one of the most popular things, isn't it? For girls AND boys. I'm glad you made a hit there.
ReplyDelete