I will pass it on to...
Jay from thedeppeffect
Simply because I love her blog and she regularly lets my good friend Data appear in her posts. I never cared that much about Data, until she pointed out that the actor who plays him, Brent Spiner, is also a singer and referred to this site. Please go there and listen to song no. 8 to know why Data and I have a special bond. He knows things about me that only very few people know! I'm blushing while I write this. And laughing out loud.
(You could also go here to see the actual songtext and listen to the music. I mean: how does he know that?)
the smartest people in the world
Friday, June 12, 2009
Hard to get in, even harder to get out
(With thanks to Suldog, who also writes a company blog, for opening a little drawer in my mind that contained this story.)
In a former life I used to own a small company for which I had to regularly visit big companies. We were quite successfull in what we did, which is very difficult to explain in another language, but it had something to do with exams and legislation. Anyway, that isn't what I wanted to tell you.
One of my clients was a large firm that shared an office with some other firms. The architect of that building must have been on drugs, because he had the novel idea to design irregular steps to the main entrance of the building which meant that some of the steps were too wide to take in one normal stride, but too narrow to take in two. So, either you had to make two silly little strides or a normal-and-half-a-stride. And every step had a different hight. No way one could conquer these stairs in a somewhat elegant manner. Not a normal step in sight. Every step required a different approach. Aarrrrggghhh, a very stupid idea for stairs.
Some clever person has not come up with a mathematical calculation for stairs for nothing!
"Francois Blondel, a French architect, was the first person to establish a rule for staircase design. In 1675, while working for the Royal Academy of Architecture, Blondel devised the following formula: twice the riser height plus the tread depth equals 24 inches (25.5 in today's inches)."
See or the full text, very informative and clearly ignored by the stupid architect:http://www.classzone.com/books/algebra_1/page_build.cfm?content=links_app2_ch3&ch=3
Also, the building had parking spaces in front of it and a two-storey parking garage stuck to the side. The parking places in front were very narrow. I drove a big car - well, one has to keep up appearances as the owner of a company does one not? - and earlier visits to that firm had taught me that parking in these narrow spaces wasn't a problem, but getting in and out of the car subsequently was.
One unfortunate day therefore I opted to park my car in the garage. As I had parked it near the entrance I walked out and hop-skipped up the stupid stairs to the main entrance. The receptionist told me that I was expected at the top floor of the building. So I went up, had my meetings, which took all of that afternoon until way after everybody else in the building had already left, except for the receptionist and the people I had the last meeting with, and then went down, said goodbye to the receptionist and noticed there was a door that had a sign 'parking garage' on it. I went through that door.
The other people all left through the front entrance of the building.
The door to the parking garage closed behind me.
There were no cars left in the parking garage.
Not even mine.
I frowned. Had someone stolen my car? I couldn't believe that. To get onto the grounds of the building you had to pass a gate where you had to tell your name and your measurements , which always struck me as kind of weird (just a joke, you did not have to state your measurements, but they wanted to know almost everything else about you before you were allowed to pass the gates). So not stolen then.
Suddenly it dawned on me that I had to be on the wrong floor. My car was parked on the floor below. So I turned around and went back to the door. The door that wouldn't open. It could only be opened by using a pass. A pass that I did not have. Shoot! Think quick, I encouraged myself. The ramp! I could just walk down the ramp that led to the lower floor of the garage. No problem. I could get my car and just drive home. No reason to panic! So I walked to were the ramp was. Only to be encountered by a huge gate, all bars, that closed off the ramp. To be opened by using the same pass that you could use to open the door to the building. The pass I did not have. Shoot again!
There I was. All alone in a parking garage. I ran back to the door that had closed after me and looked through the little window if I could see anyone. No one there. The entrance hall was empty. The receptionist had gone. I was the only one left in the entire building.
I had my mobile phone, so could I phone the firebrigade to let me out? Perhaps I could. But first I phoned hubs. 'I will be late tonight. I'm locked in this building and I have no clue how to get out.' Hubs understood my problem. But since he was about 200 kilometers away, at home, he couldn't really help me. 'I will keep you posted', I said.
Then I tried to call the reception desk. I had the phone number of the company I had just visited stored in my mobile. Answering machine and it didn't mention another number to call outside office hours. I looked through the window of the door again, one last attempt to see if perhaps someone was there before I would call the fire brigade. And there actually was someone in the entrance hall. Putting on her coat, ready to leave the building. I screamed and banged my fists against the door. She lifted her head. I banged and screamed even louder. She turned around and saw me through the little window of the door. She came to my rescue and opened the door to let me out. I told her why I was there and she accompanied me down the stairs to the floor below where she kindly used her pass to let me drive out of the garage. I called hubs to let him know that I was on my way home.
Actually, on another occasion I had a very similar but different experience in the same building. I will save that story for later. I hated going there. First you had to overcome all sorts of hurdles to get into the stupid building and then they wouldn't let you go again. HATED IT!
On a happier note:
The lovely Cece, a.k.a. WVU Chick, loves my blog. So she gave me this award. It's the second time I've received it. Yippee!
I will pass it on to...
Jay from thedeppeffect
Simply because I love her blog and she regularly lets my good friend Data appear in her posts. I never cared that much about Data, until she pointed out that the actor who plays him, Brent Spiner, is also a singer and referred to this site. Please go there and listen to song no. 8 to know why Data and I have a special bond. He knows things about me that only very few people know! I'm blushing while I write this. And laughing out loud.
(You could also go here to see the actual songtext and listen to the music. I mean: how does he know that?)
I will pass it on to...
Jay from thedeppeffect
Simply because I love her blog and she regularly lets my good friend Data appear in her posts. I never cared that much about Data, until she pointed out that the actor who plays him, Brent Spiner, is also a singer and referred to this site. Please go there and listen to song no. 8 to know why Data and I have a special bond. He knows things about me that only very few people know! I'm blushing while I write this. And laughing out loud.
(You could also go here to see the actual songtext and listen to the music. I mean: how does he know that?)
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I can imagine the people in the building with the funny steps laughing at the windows as they watch visitors negitating them.
ReplyDeleteHa, yes! What Bill said! LOL! I think that the architect was intending to humiliate people on a daily basis, and he was probably the one responsible for you getting locked in the parking garage too!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Carolina! I am honoured, and humbly accept the award on behalf of me and my blog. And Data, of course, without whom it would not have been possible.
Talking of Data, it's funny, but it was the same with me. Oh, I wanted him (purely to help with the housework, of course ;)) before I heard Brent Spiner sing, but afterwards I was hooked.
There's something fascinating and bizarre about the image of Data in his Starfleet uniform crooning those old standards .. and as song No. 8 reveals, he has an endearingly wicked streak, too. Tee hee.
Chairman Bill,
ReplyDeleteif I wasn't so pissed off by the stupid stairs, I would have laughed at me and all the other people going up or down myself. But I'm always happy to be a source of entertainment ;-)
Jay,
*sigh* Data *sigh*
He is quite a dab hand at all sorts of jobs around the house. His stamina is unsurpassable ;-) As you well know.
That's a great story. Stupid building! Actually, you've reminded me of a similar incident, so perhaps I will write that up and give YOU credit for inspiring it. And then that will inspire you again, and me again, and so forth, until we have totally run out of ideas and then we will die or something :-)
ReplyDeleteSuldog,
ReplyDeletebut we will die happy and have left something to the world, wether they want it or not!
And, Suldog & Carolina, added a lot to the laughter quotient along the way, no doubt... (divide humour by truth)...
ReplyDeleteJinksy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me lie awake all night trying to work out what the answer to that division is.
Maths! Urgh!
And thanks for the compliment. You make me smile or laugh every day
;-)
I find the steps thing quite funny, i bet some people were very amusing to watch. To actually have to use them everyday though would have been rather annoying. hehe
ReplyDeleteGlad you got out ok, i would hate to feel trapped in somewhere like that.
Congrats on your award.
The only place I ever got stuck in was a disabled toilet. I wasn't too worried though, I was supposed to leave five minutes later with 40 kids and knew that if I wasn't there, they would come looking for me. In the mean time I had a lovely seat and I wouldn't dry out!
ReplyDeleteIf I had been locked in a building, it wouldn't be a forgotten memory in some little drawer. It would be a major traumatic event in my life and I would break into a sweat each and every time I ever had to enter a building ever again in my entire life.
ReplyDeleteBut that's just me.
I will refrain from commenting on your lust for Brent "Data" Spiner.
Mine was always directed at Angie Dickinson.
Samantha, Holly & Zac,
ReplyDeleteFunny to watch, not funny to take those stairs, not funny at all to be locked in that building.
Thanks ;-)
Mara,
why were you in a disabled toilet? Are you? Or were you in there illegally and therefore punished by a higher power ;-)
Rhymeswithplague,
I was too angry to feel traumatized. And I think Brent Spiner lusts for me, have you heard the song or read the text? I don't really find him that attractive. But I ám flattered.
I can understand why you liked Angie Dickinson.
Brent Spiner? I never would have guessed! But with his space background, I bet he has a unique appreciation for blue legs. ;)
ReplyDeleteAre you sure we are not related? I once got locked in the walk-in-fridge at a restaurant I worked at. I was in there for half an hour before someone realized that no one was looking after my customers... brrrrr.
ReplyDelete