Thursday’s Trifles are based on what I’ve read in our local newspaper, the Dagblad van het Noorden.
Most irritating noise
Earplug producer ‘Herriestoppers’ (Noise stoppers) is looking for the most irritating noise in the Netherlands. Reason for our fun loving newspaper editors to interview a ‘Herriestoppers’ spokesperson:
“What kind of noises does this research include?”
”All sorts of noises. Screeching chalk on blackboards, nails on a blackboard. Snoring can be irritating to the partner.”
”Can you send in a snore anonymously? How will you keep them apart?”
”Snoring can vary from deep grumbling to high whistling.”
”Maybe your wife has sent in your snore?”
”There is that possibility.”
”But the most irritating noise is known isn’t it? The Mosquito (an ultrasonic teen deterrent)?”
”Mosquito? Never heard of that.”
”I don’t know how old you are. The Mosquito produces high tones that only juveniles can hear and discourages anti-social youths from gathering somewhere unwanted.”
”A colleague of mine here says he knows about the Mosquito.”
”What is the prize for the winner with the most irritating noise?”
”A holiday to a beautiful subtropical island in the Pacific.”
”But there are lots of little mosquitoes!”
”We’ll give the winner some ‘Herriestoppers’ and perhaps some insect repellent.”
”Who’s in the jury?”
”It’s about the most votes. A filter prevents people from continuously voting for themselves.”
”Will you use the most irritating noise to improve your product?”
”We get an insight in what people find irritating. And people ask for earplugs in fun colours.”
”Earplugs are ‘in’?”
”Hearing impairment is currently a hot item. In discotheques, pop festivals and building projects you’ll notice much more people wear hearing protection. Since my work for ‘Herriestoppers’ I use them too.”
”So everyone in your office wears earplugs?”
”No, we are not allowed to snore in the office.”
Most popular pet names
A magazine called ‘Onze Taal’ (Our Language) has taken stock of the most popular pet names in the Netherlands. Apparently people who have multiple pets make combinations of their names. Not only dogs and cats get ‘duo names’, but rabbits, fish and hamsters too. In the Dutch top 5 are:
- Ko and Nijn (rabbit = konijn)
- Ot and Sien (popular characters from an old children’s book)
- Urbi and Orbi
- Black and Dekker
- Chip and Dale
- Sjors and Sjimmie (two comic figures, based on Perry Winkle and the Rinkeydinks)
Most popular are Donder and Bliksem (Thunder and Lightning).
Any ideas or suggestions, dear readers, for the most popular ‘duo pet names’ in your country?
I love the idea of people in clubs and discos wearing Herriestoppers.
ReplyDelete”No, we are not allowed to snore in the office.” - great!
If I were to indulge in duo pet names I'd have Marks and Spencer, Chilli and Pepper, Gin and Tonic, Whisky and Water, Rum and Coke (there's a trend developing here!) Night and Day, Sun and Moon, a.m. and p.m., Gold and Silver . . . aren't you glad you asked? Well, actually, I haven't answered your question as I have no idea, being a miserable being with no friends.
What an excellent post. One of the Top Hundred Things I Love About The Netherlands: Interviews in the Dagblad van het Noorden!
ReplyDeleteHere goes with the paired names (not the most popular in the U.S., just cluttering up my mind):
Wishy and Washy
Namby and Pamby
Helter and Skelter
Frick and Frack
Humpty and Dumpty
Tweedle and Dum
Tweedle and Dee
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
Salt and Pepper
Tommy and Hilfiger
Simon and Cowell
Abercrombie and Fitch
Lord and Taylor
Lindsay and Lohan
Paris and Hilton
Had enough?
I love all the above suggestions. Our next four dogs will be called Marks, Spencer, Abercrombie and Fitch ;-) I do hope Abercrombie will be a very well-behaved dog. Perhaps it's better to call a fish Abercrombie. And the other fish Fitch. Oh, I'm so enjoying this :-)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Black and Dekker? They name their pets after American power tools?
ReplyDeleteI have two black cats, brother and sister, who are named Joey and Zoey. Not very original, but when they were little I couldn't tell them apart. Thirteen years later, I can but only because Joey is twice the size of Zoey.
My oldest cat has an original name - Miss Mouse. I called her that because she looked like a tiny rat when she was a kitten, but I thought Miss Rat was not very nice, so she became Miss Mouse. She turned out to be a gorgeous cat after a very ugly duckling start.
I can't compete with Rhymeswithplague . .
Karen,
ReplyDeleteSeriously! Joey and Zoey is original. I like Miss Mouse (you're right, Miss Rat wouldn't be as nice).
Ours are called Bengeltje, Petje, Mozes and Snoesje. Try and break your tongue over those names ;-) And the dogs: Phoebe, Holle, Biggles. The horses: Naloma, Willem, Eavanaloma (or Evie). The pigs: Nufnuf and Tumtum. The chickens are 'the girls'. Now you know the whole furry bunch.
No one can compete with Rhymeswithplague. On any level I think :-)
You have furry chickens?
ReplyDeletePet names:
Elsie and Truman - they were puppies named after the neighbors
Duane, Nancy and Dennis - another litter named after good friends
I forgot some:
ReplyDeleteHunky and Dory
Upton and Sinclair
Ooey and Gooey
Spaghetti and Meatballs
Flotsam and Jetsam
Henny and Penny
Loosey and Goosey
I got a million of 'em....
...Simon and Garfunkel...
ReplyDeleteIf I can ever get some new pets (since Sophie doesn't allow them right now), I would love to call them Howard and Marina. I watch this show called 'Last of the Summer Wine' and Howard is this old man (he must be 75 at least), married to Pearl, but always 'fooling around' with Marina, a very blonde wannabe bimbo several years younger!
ReplyDeleteIT,
ReplyDeleteOkay... furry and FEATHERY bunch, duh!
RWP,
Like I said, no one can compete with Rhymeswithplague. Why am I thinking that Simon and Garfunkel would be great names for hamsters?
Mara,
Oh dear, you must be so sad. A couple of weeks ago I've heard that Last of the Summer Wine is at it's end and that lots of die-hard fans are heartbroken. How are you coping?
;-)